Sunday, August 28, 2011

Hanging in :)

I'm hopeful that I can actually create a coherent entry that isn't missing half of what I wanted to write!!!

I'd like to backtrack a few days to when my mom was still in the hospital.  My father was still in Connecticut, and the neighbors expected him to be out of town, and my mom alone.  Now, the night that I took her to the E.R., I was focused on getting her there before she could change her mind.  I watched her lock her door, but apparently she unlocked it.  Speeding ahead a bit, my sister, my older daughter & I went to their house to check up, bring in the mail & find my aunt's phone number.  We get in the house and realize there are newspapers on the couch.  They are dated from that day!!!  I started to worry that someone had broken in.  There were weird little things that stood out.  My daughter went to go ask the neighbors if they knew anything, but no one was home.  I started trying to get a hold of my dad.  I must have called his phone 30 times, texted him 3 times, left him two voice mails.  No answer, no return call.  Finally I called my mom in the hospital to see if she had given her key to a neighbor.  I walked outside while talking to mom, and another neighbor comes walking up to me saying, "Your parents scared us to death!"  It turns out, since my mom is "like clockwork" and has her flag out and papers in by 7:30 A.M., the neighbors tried the door, found it unlocked, got scared, and called the police.  It was the police that brought the papers in.  Talk about tension!!!

Mom is doing very well.  I think she's kicking herself for not getting this taken care of months ago, but since living in the past isn't very productive, we're trying to help her to move ahead.  We've had many blessings come out of this.  For one thing, it brought my sister home for a few days around her grueling work schedule.  We all love seeing her.  My oldest & I cry every time she leaves.  We just don't have nearly enough time together anymore.  This also brought my mom together with her sister; they often talk on the phone, but never get to actually visit in person.  Thanks to my wonderful cousin, we've had a couple of little family reunions, with another couple in the planning stages.  I have to say that of all of the relatives on my side of the family, my mom's sister has always been my favorite.  I loved her husband, also.  I used to spend a lot of time over there, until things got too crazy here to be able to really go visit.  And now we at least know that there is, indeed, a problem, but it's being addressed.  I knew she was sick; it's very frustrating when you know you're right but no one will believe you.  At least in a situation like this.  Well, my sister believed me, but it's harder to argue with them being a few states away.

I was told the day before Mom's release that all of the pathology was back.  A day or two later they told my sister that it was not.  We're still operating on the assumption that it's Stage 2.  My cousin has battled stage 2 cancer.  I feel as though God put her back in our path to quietly strengthen my mom.  My mom is already practically invincible.  I cannot even believe how high her pain tolerance is.  Mine is high but hers is amazing!!!  I'm very proud of how she is handling all of this.  As my husband said, she's very stoic.  Very well put!  She hasn't really acted depressed or sad at all, but given that she's going along now with seeing a PCP, an oncologist & a gastro, I know she's up to fighting.  When she pointed out that she should have listened to me before, I explained how I saw things.  She was so dehydrated the night that I took her to the ER that she really shouldn't have been still with us.  She was shutting down.  Her voice was weakening, she doesn't remember 2 days.  Her colon should have ruptured already, so they said.  And, if living through those 2 situations wasn't enough, she survived the surgery and went from having what they declared a stage 4 cancer to a stage 2.  Obviously, she's meant to be here for a reason.  My dad is taking wonderful care of her, which honestly surprises me.  He's so used to being cared for that we wondered how he would do.  Now that he's home he's really doing well.  I told him that he had better not lecture her, and he hasn't!  I'm so glad.  She doesn't need that.

She has her appointments lined up, thanks to my dad.  (The great news is that she is willing!!!)  Towards the end of the month she has a 3 day period that is all about doctor visits.  My dad is shoveling as much food into her as he can.  :)  She is already starting to look better, less like she's deflating.  She had started to get that really sunken look for a while there.  We'd like to get her fattened up for chemo. 

One thing that I don't understand is why they took her port out?  She had one in her neck.  Maybe it was just a temporary, but I don't understand why they would do a temp when a port is like a staple for cancer patients?  I'm glad she had it; if for no other reason, it helped my daughter to be less fearful of her upcoming port implant.  I just thought it was weird.  I realize that this is all in God's hands.  I keep praying, knowing that I'm not ready to lose my Mommy yet, but also just wanting what is best for her.  Right now, I'm hopeful that she can beat this.  Her attitude is great, she's already getting out of the house to go to her restaurants and shopping.  But I know how hard chemo can be.  I don't want her to suffer, but I'm hoping that she'll have the will to keep fighting.  If you asked me 3 weeks ago if she would, I'd have said no.  Right now, I believe she will beat this. 

No comments:

Post a Comment